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Dating and Relationships in Residency: A Guide for Medical Professionals
The long and unpredictable hours of residency can make starting and maintaining a romantic relationship tough. But it’s not impossible. Here’s how to date and make the most of your love life during residency.
1. Identify Your Needs
Building a deep, romantic relationship requires time, which is something you have very little of in residency. You’ll need to put yourself out there socially, such as going to events or joining community groups, work on your own personal development, and zero in on what you’re actually looking for from a partner.
2. Finding a Partner
Beyond finding a relationship, maintaining it takes up even more time and energy. If building a relationship in this stage of your life is important to you, you’ll need to intentionally carve out time for it, much like when you are studying for boards.
3. Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Be Clear About What to Expect
It’s important to be upfront with your partner about your expectations for the relationship. This includes discussing your work schedule, your need for alone time, and your financial situation.
Develop Open and Honest Communication
Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important in a relationship where one partner is in residency. Make sure to talk to your partner about your day, your feelings, and your concerns. It’s also important to be a good listener and to be supportive of your partner.
Don’t Allow Medicine to Rule Your Life
It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of residency and to neglect your personal life. However, it’s important to remember that you need to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to schedule time for yourself to relax, de-stress, and spend time with your loved ones.
Intentionally Block Time for Your Relationship
Just like you schedule time for studying and patient care, you need to schedule time for your relationship. This could mean setting aside a specific night each week for date night or taking a weekend trip together once a month. Make sure to prioritize your relationship and make it a part of your regular routine.
Don’t allow your years of residency to fly by without being intentional about every aspect of your life—this includes your professional development, personal wellness, hobbies and interests, and love life.
Additional Tips:
- Be realistic about your expectations.
- Be patient.
- Be supportive.
- Be understanding.
- Be yourself.
Remember, you are not alone. There are many other medical professionals who are in the same boat as you. There are also many resources available to help you navigate the challenges of dating and relationships in residency.
Good luck!